A Defining Moment

I believe there are moments in people’s lives that help define who they are and where they end up going. These moments are not many but few. These moments not only impact a person’s life, but help to shape that person’s life from that point on. Sometimes they are intellectual and sometimes they are physical events that occur in a person’s life. They are sometimes moments of tragedy or sometimes moments of inspiration…glimpses of a better way or insight into a deeper understanding. These moments can propel people to greater heights or send them over the cliff to destruction. When these moments come they don’t last long…they appear for your grasp and if you don’t take advantage of it you may never retrieve it to your mind again. These defining moments are not just restricted to the individual but can also be seen in the a more broader historical sense.

Throughout history one can observe moments in the history of nations that for better or worse defined that nation. Our nation’s defining moment came with the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The moment those signers penned their name to that document they were labeled traitors. And though they knew this, they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. Though I am sure there were many individual moments within that moment, as a nation, it defined who we were and even to this day is woven into our makeup as a culture. To the victor’s of the ‘Civil War’, the Union points to Gettysburg as their defining moment when the tide’s of war changed, yet to the Confederates, the defining point of the war came at the moment that friendly fire took out their great general and leader, Stonewall Jackson. When Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson were together the Confederate Army could not be defeated. Therefore, Gettysburg was lost because Lee had to count on generals who could not match the military genius that Jackson had obtained too. American history is littered with such moments…’the day that will live in infamy’ is a quote by FDR that stimulates images of Japanese planes surprise aerial at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. The ‘turning point’ in WWII can be found on the beaches of Normandy. Here thousands of U.S. soldiers stormed the beaches in a back breaking assault into the heartland of Nazi control. The ‘war on terror’ will forever have the surreal images of two planes crashing into the World Trade Center Towers as it’s defining moment. Germany is forever riddled with the image of Adolf Hitler and his campaign to conquer the world and create a super human race. The Catholic Church, though not a nation in itself will always be remembered for her leadership of the Inquisition. The blood of the martyr’s voices still testify of her quest to quiet their voices.

Israel had a few defining moments, one of the most obvious was the exodus from Egypt. With God as their head, Israel was moved by defining moments one after another. From the plagues to the Red Sea, these were forever embedded into the mindset the Israelites, which they still cling to in claiming to be special chosen people of God. What about the moment that Jesus stood before the religious order of that day and opens up the scripture of Isaiah, he finds the place where it was written, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.” (Luke 4:17-21) Wow! What a moment! This was a ‘God’ moment! One of those ‘declaration of independence’ moments, yet too Israel it was the first swing of the axe at the root of the tree.

And what of those individual’s who defining moments not only helped to shape a nation but also define who they were and forever forge their mark on the annals of time. Patrick Henry’s “Give me liberty or give me death!” was an act of treason. Napoleon’s Waterloo forever vanquished him to defeat and an ultimate exile outside of his own country. The success of Jamestown owes it’s historical significance to a man by the name of Captain John Smith who abolished the communal system of taking from the haves and giving to the lazy have not’s and establishing the biblical principle of ‘if you don’t work, you don’t eat’! And what of George Washington’s amazing survival against all odds as an officer, under General Braddock in the British army. As they marched toward Ft. Duequene they were ambushed by the Indians who knew that their only way to victory to was to kill every officer. Two horses were shot out from under him and four bullet holes were found in his jacket. Fifteen years later an Indian war chief compelled George Washington to meet with him so he could meet the man that God protected. He told Washington of him personally taking seventeen shots at him and finally stopped shooting because he realized he could not kill him. Washington writes not only of this account, but of ninety seven defining moments in his life where the hand of God protected him and directed his path. King David’s life has a few moments that determined his destiny. Samuel stepping past eight of his brothers and asking David’s father if he had any other sons had to have been quite a moment. Imagine the astonished look on David’s eight brother’s faces as Samuel poured the anointing oil over their little brother’s head. An obvious one is in the Valley of Ellah. Here the young God chaser was brought face to face with the giant Phillistine, Goliath. Though Bathsheba comes too mind, David’s defining moment wasn’t really that he sinned, but was truly captured when his sin was revealed. Here is probably a universal defining moment for every inhabitant of the earth. How you respond to a preacher who tells you the truth is an eternal moment that places you at the proverbial fork in the road.

Historically, I could probably go on and on with this list of ‘defining moments’ that have transpired throughout the ages. In part two (next article) we will bring the examination of this idea to a micro level and step into the dynamics of defining moments of the ‘inner man’ in each of us. Though it is easy to look at history or the defining moments of those around us, it is a little more difficult to ’see’ how our own personal experiences have defined who we are and how they have shaped us.

In this day and age some people’s ‘moments’ may take place even before they even take their first breath. With the pollution, toxins, and addictions that have overtaken the land, could it be possible that a child’s life has been shaped in womb? Today there are babies that are born already addicted to the drugs of this world. Though these are no defining moment’s of no choice, just as genetic moments of definition come into play in our lives, these cannot be discounted as superficial or without merit. Though I am unsure nor do I remember anything from my own mother’s womb, I am sure there were a few of those moments that have affected me to this day.

There are not many moments in my life that I can remember before the age of two. Born in New York City in the boroughs of Queen and then moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado, my ‘recall’ of any such moments at this age in my life are only from the words of those who are able to tell the stories. Whether they are actually still residing in my mind or just repressed I do not know, but they are there and are still affecting my life right now. Though I don’t remember this moment for myself, in my own life, I know that my parents divorce was a deep and defining moment in my life. Although just a baby, there is no doubt that this separation of my parents helped to define who I was too become and who I am now. Many go through life not realizing how family ‘moments’ like these actually help to define who they are. They search their whole lives looking outside of themselves to solve the broken riddles of their lives when in reality all they need to do is examine their own lineage and upbringing. For me, such a moment occurred when I was five years old…standing in the kitchen hearing that the man my mother was with was not really my father at all, but he was my step dad and the man that was coming to ‘visit’ me the next day was my real father. I remember crying and not really understanding what was going on, but it is obvious to me, the fact that I am writing about right now, over forty years later, tells me that it impacted my life from that point on. To grow up in a home and feel that kind of separation and division within your own family is not only confusing but painful. The mental torment was overwhelming at times…especially when a child is born from the new marriage, which then leaves you (and your brother) out of the family because of the natural bond at the birth of a child.

In these perilous times, those that are born within a broken home live in an inner psychological torment that never leaves them. When your hero’s fail, there’s not too many other faces or places to turn too. Your life revolves around those broken pieces. Some end up living a life of unfruitful frustrations, desperately trying to put the pieces back together again. Full of anger, resentment, and guilt, they try to undo the defining moment’s of those around them, not knowing they are allowing their life to be shaped by other people’s defining moments and not their own. Obviously, no man liveth to himself and no man dieth to himself. All of us influence and are influenced of others, yet some choose to (yes it’s a choice!) to let those around them define who they are and what their lives are all about. These are those truly defining moments. Moments that forever shape your life and mold your being and affections. To me, though easily shrugged off by others, my parent’s divorce affected me deeply and still impacts me now.

Today I can look back and ’see’ it’s shaping affect upon my life. To hang around my friends and hear them call their father’s ’dad’ when I couldn’t go home and do the same affected me. To know that the man that my mother was married to was not my father and my real father was out ’there’ somewhere never left my mind. Now looking back, all of my actions were infused and framed within this moment.

Though my step-father was a decent man and took care of us, there is nothing that compares to the love that one feel’s when you conceive your own child. And this was definitely felt when my sister was born to the new marriage. All love…if any…was to be shown in our family went to her. Back then, as a young boy, I could not understand the connection. But today, now that I have experienced the love that prevails and overcomes your spirit at the birth of your own child, I can now understand the ’whys’ and no longer frustrated. Therefore, a moment in my life that was created by someone else no longer has any more control over my life, because I understand the ’why’. When one is no longer confined behind the bars of ’I am a victim’ prison, then the possibility of true growth can be obtained. We are the choosers of our destiny…these moments come and go…but it’s what we do with them that counts. Stepping stones or stumbling blocks. Victims or victors. Welfare or wealthy. They either weigh you down or stimulate a desire to rise above them.

Today, rather than wallowing in the despair of divorce and it’s impact upon my frail psyche as a child, I can now see the blessing that it brought to me in it’s entirety. From the emotional instability of these broken pieces came a deep desire within me to truly find out ‘what life is all about’. From a young age I began searching. Yes it may have been in all the wrong places, and in all the wrong faces, but there was a yearning in me too know the truth about life and it’s meaning. Though this yearning took me on a far journey, it allowed me opportunity, if you will, to seek things out for myself. The rejection of my upbringing, though rebellious in nature, was a blessing in the long run. For I developed an attitude to seek things out for myself. To question the status quo and look for the deeper answers. The Greek philosophers of old said, “Reality hides behind appearances” and I refused to accept things at face value. It breed within me a desire to know…so I read, I wrote stories, kept a journal, wrote poetry, took philosophy classes, and traveled abroad…in search of these all elusive answers to the truth of life. Instead of being a recluse, too me life was about living each moment as fully as one possibly could…with gusto I would live it and with all I had, and in this, I would find out the truth. When I think about it, this attitude was birthed within me because of that one defining moment that I had no control over.

Now looking back, it is truly a wonder to see how God orchestrates a man’s steps if he is truly seeking an answer. Though, in my mind, I rejected anything that had to do with religion or God, I was seeking Him and I didn’t know it. God’s longsuffering was wrapped in mercy as He waited for the end of my dabbling in the transgressions of this world. Worn out from chasing the empty promises of my carnal senses, God saw me. Though my searching could easily be placed into a category called stupid or absurd, God waited for me. Though I despised those who claimed to know Him and religions that mocked Him, God knew my heart. He knew that the gospel would one day be delivered to my heart by a God called preacher, by a man sent of Him. And once I entered His sanctuary of praise, heard the gospel truth of my salvation, He knew I would not reject it, because my searching’s had brought me to the end of the road. A long road of abrupt stops and painful harvests of wrong choices. But He was always there, drawing me ever so closer to His will, His ways, and His light. Step by step, choice by choice, the ironic thing is the defining moment of a painful divorce ultimately led me to a defining moment at an altar where I met the Master of all moments, and the God of the spirits of all flesh. It was here, at a literal altar of repentance that the God of the universe encamped upon the tables of my heart. As the one hundred and twenty basked in the defining moment of Pentecost, I too, stepped into the eluded questions of my life and fell into the answering embrace of His mercy. Oh what a moment! What a defining moment! Though my soul longed for answers, my rest came when my soul found Him who it had longed for. Oh what a moment! What a eternally defining moment!